sick

yesterday, i had kinda unhappy start of the lunar new year.
had a slight arguement with KD, pretty upset about how KD is bein made used of and how KD have not been takin care of oneself. KD have been fallin sick since the start of calendar year. coughin, sneezin, fever, sore throat, all the typical illness. i don't think i would like that at all. was very bothered over it. told KD to see the doctor, but in vain and went through some self-medication which is pretty useless on the account that the sickness did not subside and got worse as each day passed.
well... that's one. KD got so overwhelm, as it is for the past years before knowin mE, with family matters and kept feelin obliged to do things for family. somehow, it came totally without any return and it went on with more and more burden lettin people took it so much for granted. KD didn't complain or grumble, simply KD is a kind and nice and a family person. but as a outside and someone special to KD, somethin is not right. KD is made used of. whatever i said will and always fall on deaf ears. KD will take it that we have different views and all, but how would i allow someone special to mE to be like that?
anyway, happy lunar new year.

PS: mahjong costed mE $50.

happy

happy that i got new phone
happy that i got new cards
happy that i got new lens
happy that christmas is comin
happy that KD is there to spend the christmas with mE!~

thank you KD!~

Avenue Q and Topic Thunder

went for Avenue Q and subsequently, Topic Thunder. though the Proposition 8 won the race, yes sadly. discrimation will goes on regardless whether No On 8 or Yes On 8, but the point is that more LGBT are comin out, are active and are recognised. recognised by shows, google, microsoft, celebraties and lots. though the 'war' seems lost, but i see it as the start. the start of an era where lots more are takin off their tinted spec and LBGT are rootin firm on their ground. anyway, both AQ and Topic Thunder features gay in the show, somethin i am glad about. oh well... gay and lesbian, bi and trans, i am so so so proud of where you're right now!~

back from bali

well... bali is not as nice as i thought it would be. but i have fun with KD.

fly

starin and waitin at the green grass patch.
a minute pass, the bird landed.
"let's go"
in and seated tightly,
eyes stuck at the rear, out at the buildings below us.
up, up and away.
two minutes later, stand up and 'good shuffle steps'.
one after another went.
face was white and blankly movin to the rear.
"GO!"
anxiety came and left the moment my foot stepped off.
"one thousand, two thousand, three thousand. CHECK!"
forgotten about anythin else and lookin out for others around.
steer left, steer right avoidin the hard ground.
"three, two, one. ARGH!!!!~~~ safe."
pack up and walk back in one piece.
i'm safe.

a life time experience.

=)

i think smilin will be hard for mE this days.
been tied down with a lots thing.
really find work unsuitable for mE. really.
i can see a lots things comin to an end.
=) smilin while i still can.

jealous

jus came back from some place that i would hardly dream myself to be five years ago and stuck onto a job that i never thought i would want as a job, but somehow the unexpected always happened. well... as i was waitin for my clothes to get washed in the washin machine, i turned to the computer next door and logged on to the internet instinctive to facebook and only to see some changes and i am bloody jealous of. somethin i thought i would never mind, but somehow the sight of it really makes my blood boil fast and furious. i don't think i wanna mention it in front my beloved because i have to respect the decision on the action was made and on what ground was i to make afterall, they were together.
i decided to rest the case and facebook? i rest it too. my only entertainment on the internet somehow faded, i need new entertainment online.
=(

MISTAKE

my mistake. i made a grave mistake. i made a scene, i made a big fuss, i made KD unhappy.
the surprise came not only for KD, but to mE too. i was surprised or in fact shock and my heart beat skipped. i was speechless, was stunned like never before, my limbs numbed, i was in cold sweat and all this happened so suddenly without even a hint. i knew nuts about all, i didn't expect it, it is one thing that i would never ever expect. comin in direct contact was dreadful, was wrong, was undesired, was near death.
i got little, very very very little choice with that sudden appearance, in fact, zero notice. out of impulse i have to, or in fact, i must leave. i must recover myself. i cannot think too much, i must trust KD. "i must trust KD" statement kept goin on and on over the few seconds we things occured, but it is kind of impossible to think otherwise at that point of time on the different rationale of what exactly happened. this is especially so when the trust built was on firm ground, never was there a time that such huge amount of trust that i gave. i called, asked and truth was supposed to be told. however, sometime, most will prefer white lies, be it healthy or not. when truth was found, dire calamity would sometimes be inevitable.
still fault lies in mE, mE for runnin away on impulse, for not clarifyin things, for not think of other scenerio that could possibly be, but i trust KD. i trust KD won't do such things and really KD didn't, luckily.
thank you KD.

btw,Happy Birthday to KD!~ muck

paradigm shifted

went to brunei and back beginnin july. started new course subsequently. got busy for a while. KD finished the MCAT and awaitin for results, all the best for it. had some fun time for anni and pre-birthday celebration with KD. btw did i mention that i went for national day parade and fireworks display yesterday. ha. olympic in china ended today. spectacular i would say. nothin else much happened meanwhile.
anyway, that's not the highlight i wanna talk about now. as the title stated, paradigm shifted.
more and more time we get to hear people, not only from old folk, it also some young adult who complained "durin my time... ... ..." so what? well... think about this very simple example, when i was young ten years ago, i accidentally dropped a two dollars note on my way home and guess what my folks will do when i reached home? i get a terrible bad scoldin and have to go and search for it. now, if a kid did the same, the parents will jus "be careful, never mind, i give you another two dollars". to mE, that's what happened. do you encounter somethin similar? what does it simply mean? spare the rod and spoil the child? partially. but the main issue that nowadays people faced are what i define as "Disposable Age". everythin is disposable, since it's cheap and convenient. if somethin is lost, it's Ok, jus BUY a new one. everythin we talked about now is jus get new one will do. that jus bring mE back to my job where things are expensive and not easily available in the market. so the student who comes to use it, spoilt it, lost it, damage it, then the next thing is, never mind lor, jus get a new one. from young, they were not taught to protect their belongings, no sense of belongin and responsibility over things. simply because of the brought up, every small thing can simply tell others of you. like finishin till the last grain of rice, returnin used plates, sharin of seats and all. life have been very materialistic and only tangible item were emphasize. value, roots and not takin things for granted were hardly bein taught and passed on, resultin in current "Disposble Age". this is especially so where rods are spared and kids when young were showered with lotsa love and toys at no condition. when they grew up, all these were taken for granted and it's somethin that they MUST have.
take a look at the recent local production, money not enough 2, the show clearly stated the importance of family value and how unbecomin homes have become. in the end, one'll only be physically rich and mentally lackin. true or not? look into yourself.