MISTAKE

my mistake. i made a grave mistake. i made a scene, i made a big fuss, i made KD unhappy.
the surprise came not only for KD, but to mE too. i was surprised or in fact shock and my heart beat skipped. i was speechless, was stunned like never before, my limbs numbed, i was in cold sweat and all this happened so suddenly without even a hint. i knew nuts about all, i didn't expect it, it is one thing that i would never ever expect. comin in direct contact was dreadful, was wrong, was undesired, was near death.
i got little, very very very little choice with that sudden appearance, in fact, zero notice. out of impulse i have to, or in fact, i must leave. i must recover myself. i cannot think too much, i must trust KD. "i must trust KD" statement kept goin on and on over the few seconds we things occured, but it is kind of impossible to think otherwise at that point of time on the different rationale of what exactly happened. this is especially so when the trust built was on firm ground, never was there a time that such huge amount of trust that i gave. i called, asked and truth was supposed to be told. however, sometime, most will prefer white lies, be it healthy or not. when truth was found, dire calamity would sometimes be inevitable.
still fault lies in mE, mE for runnin away on impulse, for not clarifyin things, for not think of other scenerio that could possibly be, but i trust KD. i trust KD won't do such things and really KD didn't, luckily.
thank you KD.

btw,Happy Birthday to KD!~ muck

paradigm shifted

went to brunei and back beginnin july. started new course subsequently. got busy for a while. KD finished the MCAT and awaitin for results, all the best for it. had some fun time for anni and pre-birthday celebration with KD. btw did i mention that i went for national day parade and fireworks display yesterday. ha. olympic in china ended today. spectacular i would say. nothin else much happened meanwhile.
anyway, that's not the highlight i wanna talk about now. as the title stated, paradigm shifted.
more and more time we get to hear people, not only from old folk, it also some young adult who complained "durin my time... ... ..." so what? well... think about this very simple example, when i was young ten years ago, i accidentally dropped a two dollars note on my way home and guess what my folks will do when i reached home? i get a terrible bad scoldin and have to go and search for it. now, if a kid did the same, the parents will jus "be careful, never mind, i give you another two dollars". to mE, that's what happened. do you encounter somethin similar? what does it simply mean? spare the rod and spoil the child? partially. but the main issue that nowadays people faced are what i define as "Disposable Age". everythin is disposable, since it's cheap and convenient. if somethin is lost, it's Ok, jus BUY a new one. everythin we talked about now is jus get new one will do. that jus bring mE back to my job where things are expensive and not easily available in the market. so the student who comes to use it, spoilt it, lost it, damage it, then the next thing is, never mind lor, jus get a new one. from young, they were not taught to protect their belongings, no sense of belongin and responsibility over things. simply because of the brought up, every small thing can simply tell others of you. like finishin till the last grain of rice, returnin used plates, sharin of seats and all. life have been very materialistic and only tangible item were emphasize. value, roots and not takin things for granted were hardly bein taught and passed on, resultin in current "Disposble Age". this is especially so where rods are spared and kids when young were showered with lotsa love and toys at no condition. when they grew up, all these were taken for granted and it's somethin that they MUST have.
take a look at the recent local production, money not enough 2, the show clearly stated the importance of family value and how unbecomin homes have become. in the end, one'll only be physically rich and mentally lackin. true or not? look into yourself.

happenin.

a lotsa happenin these days. i shan't mention them. but there is one significant decision i have made.
i am stayin with my current work. too many consideration to ponder upon, but it seems to be the best outta everythin now. relationship is somewhat stable jus that wave looks calm, current is strong.