difference

love transcend all differences. a phrase i learnt last night from a show.
i felt these days, physical difference between KD and mE've been widen. principle contribution is work while another one is mE. i also've this ideology that after a good two relationship we'll and should be truthful to each other, surprise on the one hand'll be somethin outta the picture. when i want somethin or think about somethin i ask KD. when KD wants somethin or thought of anythin it, somehow appears that i'll know it after everythin ended or the event've been taken over. say that the most recent incident, KD wanna talk over the phone while on a oversea work trip, i was playn mahjong. i answered the call and talk with lotsa distraction and interruption from the mj table. we talked for four minutes and KD wanna hang. shortly, i receive a sms statin why i didn't stop playin for a while and move aside to talk especially when it's an oversea call. i felt i'm bein very sensitive and not carin enough, but why torture by tellin mE when everythin had ended, why can't KD jus said while on the phone, "i wanna talk a bit, can move away from the table or stop playin for a while?" what's wrong bein truthful? nothin wrong, but the point is after damages is done, I FELT DAMN SHITTY! a lousy partner i am. well... this is one, i jus felt that our miscommunication've dramstic increase over the weeks and i'm very disturbed by the way i am treated. KD no longer take lead and all the sweet sweet thing like huggin or kissin mE anymore. i jus don't know what KD wants, i will only sit at a corner and tearin away. i did and really did.

late

i jus simply hate it when my hands are tied, i can't do anythin to help.
KD is late for work, very late in fact. i called the cell phone, it went to voicemail. i can't call house as KD claims everyone is asleep and i can't wake KD and everyone up. this time KD is very late and i wanna go all the way to the house and wake KD up or call home to wake KD up. somehow, somethin jus reminded that KD rather to get scoldin from bosses or bad performance than wake the whole family who doesn't really care anythin about KD whether'll KD be late and all.
well... if i am late, my parents or brothers will come and ask mE or wake mE up. i think my parents quite nice de. regardless what, i jus got the feelin that whatever KD does for the family, no one appreciate it and will take it for granted. seein KD late for work, NO ONE in the BIG household will even bother to even ask or wake KD up. sad. i guess i am in no position to talk much. but i am so so so angry at myself and all. when KD text mE, "i am so late", i got so upset and frustrated that why the phone was even off. why KD don't take measures and will make plans fail. i can't vent my frustration anywhere other than my blog. anyway, gOod mOrnin folks.

Marley and Me

marley and me is a nice and sad show. KD cried. sob. it's about a family tryin to raise 'the worst dog you can ever have' and see how the family piece together and then the dog dies. so sad. most importantly, is how john makes decision about his future and plans for the himself while carin for others. takin a five minutes in the car seems to help and is a good relaxer and soother tool.
argued with KD before show while havin dinner. all thanks to my dumb idea of eatin mini steamboat which i waited for god-damn half an hour and missed the first part of the show. i think KD hates mE and is very angry at mE. sob. KD wanted to give mE a surprise and i didn't know about it till i bring my food back to table and we started our mini arguement and i hurried chewin my food. i am such a disappointment. sob.
btw bought eggs, sugar and soya sauce for breakfast at ntuc. so cool.
hope KD not angry at mE le. sorry KD.

Serbis

Serbis is an art film taken in The Philipines. the show coined around the theme of sex and influence. bought tickets for Singapore Panorama Shorts and Final Fantasy OS concert, sounds cool eh.
met KD today, no matter how angry i was of the events, the moment i saw KD's back, i was filled with joy. =)
bought shoes for KD at centre point, think KD is happy. it looks nice. goin to supreme court for an open house tomorrow. this is how we're gonna spend weekends. btw i've decrease my spendin sharply these days, i am greatly in debt. gonna sort it out some day. also kindly please pray for mE to pass my drivin test with flyin colors. thank you!~

timin don't match

KD is kinda busy lately, i am pretty free. like what KD alway says, 'our timin alway don't match'. true enough, when i am busy with work, KD's peak period will then be over and vice versa. that's one of the reason why we've not met for the past week.
it's not that i don't wanna company KD to work and all, but i jus scare that KD is unhappy about it and i might disturb KD's daily normal routine. every other night, KD is pre-occupied with events and activities and i've been such a bad bf to add more burden and load to his work. =( i am kinda useless to KD.
i planned to go study, but the thought of more expenditure really took mE few steps back. time also're not on my side for mE not to pusure plans, but somehow KD, money and time with KD are my principal consideration. troubled.

Lunch time Pop-A-Question!

What is the difference between a $5 Starbucks Coffee and the $1.50 next door coffeeshop Coffee?

do you really need and have to spend the extra $3.50 to fill a rich man pocket?

trend?

last week, there is sucidal case of a NTU student who was stabbed a lecturer and jumped to death in the school. two days ago, a NTU staff who was a student too, hung himself to death. today, a Japanese PR was stabbed to death.
coincidental or trend?

Personality Test

Here is the analysis:

Kind and Gentle

Your kindness is your charm - you are also gentle and sweet. Everybody likes to be around people with your personality. Like a psychologist, people like to talk to you to discuss their problems because you are proper and discrete, as well as confident. You look mature and people respect you. People with this kind of character are few and far between.

the real you

Here is the analysis:

1. You've got great self-confidence and you're full of charm. Most guys who get to know you will be attracted to you. You are far from sweet and proper; your intriguing personality fascinates them. Most guys find it easy to fall for a girl like you.
2. You really care about other people's feelings and are quite serious about the issues that affect your life. You are sincere, and your concern for the well-being of others makes many people want to be your friend.
3. You strictly follow rules, and you expect other people to be the same as well. People can get tired of you easily, as you can make them feel a little guilty about themselves. You always make decisions on your own, and can be dismissive of other people's advice. You like to be the leader in groups, but can forget to be concerned about the people you are with.
4. Your peers think of you as a fun person, but sometimes you can be a little irresponsible. You can be somewhat childish, and can try to ignore the fact that you will one day need to really grow up and be a mature adult! Perhaps you could start reading good books; they might help you look at the world in a different light. You do want to be taken seriously, right?
5. Your boyfriend thinks that you are a real doll but this is not a totally positive thing. Sometimes you can be a bit too sweet, and come across as being helpless. If you're like this too frequently, your boyfriend and other people are likely to get tired of you having to rely on them all the time.

Personality Test

Your view on yourself:

You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:

You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.

Your views on education

You may not like to study but you have many practical ideas. You listen to your own instincts and tend to follow your heart, so you will probably end up with an unusual job.

The right job for you:

You have plenty of dream jobs but have little chance of doing any of them if you don't focus on something in particular. You need to choose something and go for it to be happy and achieve success.

How do you view success:

You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying.

What are you most afraid of:

You are afraid of having no one to rely on in times of trouble. You don't ever want to be unable to take care of yourself. Independence is important to you.

Who is your true self:

You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.