i SUX

well...
after years of self-denial, i must admit that i am useless.

real world

well... it's been sometime since KD stepped out of gettin educated and have stepped into educatin profession. i really mean profession. afterall, pay ain't that bad for someone fresh except the unstated long hours in hours and hectic last minute arrow shot at you. i ain't really complainin much, jus that i know my time ain't manage well enough and felt neglectin KD's feelin and welfare quite a fair bit. in addition, with the some external commitment that KD took up was more than sufficient get drown with workload.
one thing i really learned: work is never-endin. jus clear whatever work take precedence and is important is good enough. no one is gonna see what time you leave workplace, but lots other are lookin at what time you arrive.
KD is a very smart guy and too goody a person. however, in that case, if not well protected. it might be taken advantage and knows no limit. best is to be workin in a place with jobs well defined and shelter under the umbrella of good welfare. can't really be placed in the society where it's so evil, realistic and more realistic. realistic here is on the negative side. whatever it might be, i jus hope KD gain enough to pull through to the next lap with lots more obstacle.
jus bearin in mind that, avoidin can be a solution, in which mostly undesirable and inefficient. it's jus like maths, jus requires the correct formula to work.

bad day

KD WENT TO MALAYSIA WITH SCHOOL TODAY!
i am damn sad and miss KD bloody much and i am such a bloody, terrible, horrible and uncalled for person. i didn't realise my phone was off when KD have to make a lot of effort climbin up the mountain in order to gain good reception to give mE a call for us to hear and talk to each other. i am such a bad person for the start and i am kinda feelin real bad and jus wanna drop everythin right and think of good ways to torture myself for missin that important call. i am really terribly bad. i really don't know what to do but jus really say sorry. i have really done a lot of bad things to KD these days and really got nothin to say and do except to express my most sincere apology and get a reply that my "sorry is getting worthless".
i am really a bad boyfriend or i shouldn't even be one in the first place? =(

good day

i passed my basic drivin theory test. nothin much to be proud of after all as the test was relatively easy and idiot-proof less those trickster's question that would usually manage to trick a few aunties or so. sigh. but the best of all is that i only start my study two days ago and only flippin through pages. then came today which merely spent two hour in MOS Burger armed with a newly bought ten years series alike theory book and, buried myself in it till the rain get heavily. as much as i realised that i have not been study-smart for the past three while occupyin the current position at work as there is no necessity to, i seems to think school days were cool. anyway, time ticked fast and i am left with no choice but to storm the rain, grab a cab and rush to drivin centre ends up waitin for late-comers. test were automated with touch-screen LCD monitor and self-automated result printin machine, this made mE realised that it's 2008 already. btw, i passed my Basic Theory Test! i don't know what to do next. =P

facebook

argh... been busy these days with my facebook. it seems that i am too free now to do anythin else. ha. well... that's another story for another time.

one year and one month.

1yr1mth
time past so fast that i long forgotten about our 1yr agreement and i don't intend to keep it anyway.
kinda happy and sad, very much of a mixed feelin. felt very different.
happy coz it's very special.
sad coz it makes mE think back on the ugly past that i have created and how sucky i am.
nevertheless, i am very happy to be with KD.


Happy 1yr1mth