with love?

havin some slight problem with life. kinda lost and really the word is lost. direction-less. don't know what do next. hmm... got some plans, but don't really have the discipline to put it into action and execute it. kept pushin things to somethin known as tomorrow. hmm... i believe it's sometimes good to be lost at times, at least, you can revisit what you really want.
talkin about want. i learned somethin really useful today. it's the three beliefs in life: the love, the need, the want. this is especially if you're a workin adult. when you're workin, have you thought of why the hell am i workin? because i need to work to keep livin and not jus existin, takin free oxygen? because i jus wanna work coz everyone says i have to? or because i LOVE to work what i am workin? perhaps most of us falls into the first one, because you need to. need to support the family, need to buy this and that, need to eat. but what if you love your job and have ultimate passion in it, will it makes a difference? will you smile and work beyond your limits? i guess so. hmm... life is not simply jus about survivin, it's also about lovin yourself and the things you do. well... don't jus let time and decades pass without fall in love with anythin.
btw, i found my PSP. my colleague "kept" it for mE coz i misplaced it on my table.
can jus ONE person buy mE a good and nice thick christian bible for collection? i lost track of when i last flipped one. i don't wanna receive three or four of it coz i jus need one for data collection and pleasure readin. so jus one is enough. thanks.

tired week

had a pretty tired week. stressed in fact. i don't like to do anythin bad to my subordinate, but i did this week. think that they hate mE a lot. ha. anyway, LOST MY PSP! hate it. simply hate the feelin.
sometimes, it's about doin the right things and doin the things right without the right way. everythin need to be done usin the right approach, but who actually determine what is the right approach? if you think a little harder, it's the social norm which determine it. it's kinda like a long story to it. look, if you don't help a granny cross the road so you're wrong? eatin human meat is wrong? actually, says who? my mother said my grandmother said it, then who told my grandmother? ha. anyway, had some nice lunch and taken neo print with kevin this afternoon. kinda cute! hao hao's grandmother pass away and he refuse my visit. so sad. the most saddenin part is that one of my subordinate got 14days restricted privileges all thanks to mE. sigh.

pictures taken today:

it's may

the lovely month of may came so unexpectedly. i didn't know it's may day aka labour day after i alighted the cab and realised that the ferry timin for the holiday was kinda weird. i crossed the sea with a twenty odd kilo trash bag containin my neccessity which made my sickness even worse. reached the site only to realise that one of the guy was sick and i was made to send him to the nearest doctor in mainland so took the noon time ferry back again. while so, i thought somethin from my dream is about to happen which indeed happened after all. i demanded, i like to demand a lot. don't know why, perhaps because i care too much about it. this is my way of carin. i do care for myself too, and much more in fact. gonna fall sick again.
anyway, i won't be able to go out this weekend already. got some activities goin on. sigh. need to postpone again? simply hate it.

less fever.

suddenly thought of this phase, "more haste, more haste". ring any bell to those romeo and juliet lover? jus came back. tired and sick. goin 'oversea' tomorrow. really hope i get better tomorrow. so far think got about nine people who ask to "drink more water" after seein my msn nick as "fever." fever subsided, but still in pain.
watched this very saddenin show, "flags of our father" this afternoon while waitin to eat medicine. the plot is got this very human touch and i like the conclusion very much. it goes somethin like this, "no one is a hero, hero is made up coz everyone need a hero". then i began to ask this question, "is doctor to save life?" doubt so. i guess the real objective of doctor is to give HOPE. if the doctor doesn't save life or can't save someone life does it means that he's not a doctor?
very broke now. bein nice doesn't always've good return. anyway, i have been havin this phobia lately about goin oversea, coz whenever i go oversea i tend to lose somethin or someone very precious. sigh. lovely lovely mE gonna be sad sad again! nothin is forever, but i hope things will be there as along as it can.
anyway, think this sunday need to go kbox with hao and kev bah. never go last sunday. hmm... provided i'm feelin better that is. also, how come people nowadays so chim and goes blog with some much depth. ha.

fever

was runnin a terrible fever. was 38.7 this mornin and dropped to 38.4 in the afternoon at t t s h. reached home at about six plus. the wait at the a&e was horrible, didn't bring the psp, ipod and such at all which added very much to the mental stress other than my father nag and unreasonable behaviour. gotten some medicine for fever, cough and flu and a medical certificate statin that i should not report till first of may. the horrible thing is not about bein sick, it's about goin to pulau tekong tomorrow for some trainin. for those young boy and gentleman, it's any stranger. ha. don't wanna sabotage anyone so i reckon i better go bah, takin into consideration that i will receive naggin from people who cares. at least, there's people who cares. anyway, really don't like people to wait for nothin especially there is paper tomorrow. anyway, my boss got into t t s h on thursday for dengue fever, i did a blood test and prove free from it. ha. guess shan't ponder so much. hittin the sack now.

stays...

gonna have my brunch soon. i guess i worked toward a fine piece of picture too much that i neglect the finer detail and the human touch. well... on my part, it is basically i am a stupid and idiotic impatient freak where jus keep rushin things. true enough life is short, i might jus leave tomorrow, who knows. apparently, if i really did neglect anyone or anythin along the way, i sincerely apologise. that's the one and only word i can say right now. but the most important is nothin gonna change, everythin is here to stay.

wee... i am really gonna save up very very very very much to get myself the DSLR, do i really need it? don't think so, but i really jus want it badly. jus like how i wanted someone badly too. do i have keep sayin mucks and i love you when you know i seriously do?

poppin down to the dvd shop to look for dvd later. wee... keep wantin some shows but don't really've the time to go and shop for it. btw, gonna meet ryan and gang on the fifth this month, lookin very much towards it.

today, or i mean yesterday since it's past midnight was not so much a hectic day. everythin was, well, in 'good' control except the thunderstorm that ran past the area when the last detail fired the last shot. on a lighter note, at least everythin went smooth and fine and not so cock, total of four blinds for your info. waited for the bomb specialist to arrive to clear the unexploded warhead. the wait was pretty unbearable especially with the cool and smoothin air, dozed off at the granite bench a couple of time before the medical orderly wakes mE up shoutin, "sir, they're here." alright, finally was the word, after a great hour of wait. other than dozin off, another thing came into my mind, love. it's a word that you can search in the dictionary, but how oneself interpret it is so so different. had a great talk with my another half then, only to realise that i'm jus a fool who is polluted and so caught with the society. i need to stop and stand there for a while and listen to the voices inside mE. i love someone badly. too badly in fact that i am lost and don't know how to move. can someone bring mE to safety?

anyway, i'm on off tomorrow. yawns. think i'm gonna visit my dearest hao hao, who is admittin to a hospital for some minor operation. i have made up my mind and really really I AM DETERMINE! i want and need and badly requires a Nikon DSLR before national day. that's a dream and a wish. mucks.

cool.

1. I love you not because of who you are, but
because of who I am when I am with you.

2. No man is worth your tears, and the one who is, won't make you cry.

3. Just because someone doesn't love you the way
you want him to, it doesn't mean he doesn't love
you with all he has.

4. The worst way to miss someone is to be
sitting right beside him knowing you can't have
him.

5. Don't waste your time on a man who
isn't willing to waste their time on you.

6. Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people
before meeting the right one, so that when we
finally meet the person, we will know how to be
grateful.


What I find important in a relationship :
4Cs
CHEMISTRY,
COMMUNICATION,
COMPATIBILITY,
CONTRIBUTION.

long.

a long long long week.
didn't get through it pleasantly. had some unpleasant scene, but still bear through it. been in bad debt with my mobile phone bills. sigh. got cut before the day before.