today is the eleventh month anniversary.
pretty happy about it. had a few different celebration since sunday.
had four different kinda cake on sunday. went for a fish and co dinner on monday. had a movie, "Golden Compass" premiere yesterday. today? no idea yet. hmm... ha.
gave KD three presents. all comes with a lotsa meanin. hope KD enjoy and it.
was quite uneasy yesterday. had some unpleasant recollection of events that once happened to my good friend some time ago. breakin up and gettin new one seems so clique, but it's somethin that friends around mE been through. on top of that, the reason of breakin always seems so ridiculous like 'i got no feelin for you anymore' or it's jus simply that someone cuter is after them. well... i don't know when it's gonna happen to mE. i jus really don't know when or will it ever. i voiced this little concern i had to KD and KD shared his piece with mE. KD felt that too. relationship at some stages are vulnerable and unstable. this calls for some holdin on and have to bear it and get over with. it might be a while or months dependin on how the issue is bein resolve.
in a relationship, most of us need things known as 'anchor' for us to look forward to. once this anchor point is lost or taken over, there is a need for another new anchor point. anchor point can be one year anniversary, marriage, gettin a child or whatsoever. it's jus have keep goin. it's jus like some goals to achieve in the relationship. the tighter you hold on to the anchor point, the harder you will work and fight towards it. also it's harder for one to let go. when relationship runs outta energy, i think this is somethin that keep couple goin. anchor point might takes time to reach, but it must be realistic enough.
eh... i think KD have given a great sense of assurance to mE. i reckon i can't think of reason for us to part. hmmm... how many more decades are we gonna last? thank you KD for bein with mE.
things made a turn? i don't know, i felt it. KD felt that? hope so.
well... at work, listenin to my boss talked and bloggin. apparently, once she starts, she can't stop, usually that's. anyway, met KD for dinner jus now. think it's quite a good dinner jus that i have to be back at work and KD have work to do and work tomorrow. well... really hope that KD enjoy and like dinner tonight.
i really made the effort, not because i want to, it's because i love KD. =)
went to watch enchanted with KD this very night at amk hub. after the show, saw a bloody fight goin on outside the ktv. sigh.
relationship facin a problem le. i am willin to solve it.
rip this off from jerald's blog. ha.
KD, see this said that scorpio and virgo is a match!
Lets101 - Online Dating
what is unreasonable?
to mE, perhaps it's jus an excuse to avoid or not to do somethin out of your comfort zone. think, to mE, comin up an interestin essay in an hour might be unreasonable, but to a RJC student, it's nothin.
well... finishin a plate of chicken rice in a minutes might be unreasonable and impractical, but i guess i'm not referrin to that. i am referrin to like doin things that is possible, but it's not somethin you like or out of your comfort zone.
what do you think?
too much things to do, but too little time.
spent a great deal of time with KD and at work. the 'Low Disk Space' warnin have been appearin for sometime and i simply got not much time to deal with it. sigh.
i was posted to this question from KD, do i still wanna carry on workin at my current job after my contract ends?
i jus thought about it and think, 'NO'. it've been very time consumin. the passion inside have long died off after the amount of energy i put in and obtain no recognition and instead, reprimand. well... the job i am in requires personal transport, over time, passion, simply jus follow instruction, don't do addition and avoid unnecessary arrow.
this kinda job is fun? nice? wanna stay? i don't know.
with KD afresh. KD found work and thought that KD's life would be more fulfil.
gOod luck KD for you new job.
1. exercise, run and exercise
been gettin fat, really... must maintain my 28 inches waist line, if not, someone don't want mE le.
2. be less forgetful, more careful and organise, less demandin and more forgivin.
i have been forgettin a lot of things since i last hold my PDA which i lost it several year back, but i don't need one now, i would rather to count on my memory these days coz i can't keep relyin on it and it's troublesome carryin it around, best is that a nice and cool mobile phone which i can store my data. my table is never organised, i don't know why, jus have to make things more organise. i have been demandin too many from KD and i think i should tone down. i think i've been takin too many things to heart too often than not.
3. sleep early
been busy and tie down with a couple of unhappiness, i reckon i could turn in earlier, buildin a better habit.
4. eat on time and well
well... busy became an excuse for meals, i will make sure it get done.
5. be on time
eh... i will keep to it. at least, i will try my utmost.
6. stayin in touch
ever since work became a large part of my life, friends seems to slowly retreat out from my life. anyway, i guess it's time that i meet them once a while for a coffee or dinner somewhere.
7. do sufficient and not more
i think i have been doin the extra extra extra mile to the point that i jeopardize lotsa things. and KD have been tellin few times here and there that i have been overkillin. hmm...
8. START now!
if not now, then when.
am i really happy?
i don't know. i felt happy to be with KD, but at the same time, a little unhappy coz i felt KD gave quite a lot and is too stress over the relationship. a bit hard to juggle and manage coz it's neither here nor there.
what to do?
KD taught mE this, wait.
i made my birthday wish last saturday, i felt relieved. i am happy to be able to make one this year as i used to have nothin much to wish for. this time, i am glad i have KD to celebrate with and most importantly, it became the best birthday present or i mean presents i ever received.
i must take this opportunity to say this,
THANK YOU, KD!
i love you!
Happy Birthday to mE!
my 5th and last birthday present from KD is a pot of plant in cute transparent glass vase with nice and cute fertilizer. i love it very much.
my 3rd birthday present from KD is a stay at Shangri La Rasa Sentosa Resort. had lotsa fun. it's fabulous and sweet. the view was great facin the sea. then a dinner at Azabu Sabo at Marina Square and a free movie of 'stardust' there. the movie was a surprise and unexpected, i was totally taken aback when we walked past it and he went to the counter collectin the tickets.
my 4th birthday present from KD is a dinner at Gyu Ka-Ku Japanese BBQ Restaurant at Chijmes. wow! simply delicious and wonderful meal. it's one of the most expensive meal, $170 that i ever had, but it's worth it. then a movie of "mr woodcock" at vivocity quite a nice show.
was supposed to sleep till i closed my eyes and suddenly i think the muse visited mE. i got a fair bit of toughness and sadness and rejection and low in my life that i believe it could be penned down and shared to people around who will find it beneficent. nevertheless, bits and pieces have to be first piece up to make a full picture. it will come, i am sure. KD and muse will be behind mE.
for now, i reckon i should get some rest before playin my part as a nice boyfriend.
thank you my precious KD who i swore never to give up.
KD organised a small little gatherin at the BBQ pit beside my house, invitin a couple of friends. after a while, two of my close friend shockingly made their appearance. i was surprisingly stunned and speechless. never have i give the thought that the two will come, they are busy people, very busy friends that i know. one is a air steward, the other have two jobs to juggle and a relationship on the rocks. their appearance really brighten my day very much.
received present from alvin and jimmy, patrick and finally jerald. thank you very much guys. simply like it very much.
zihao and gerald gave mE present too. it's durin our little KBox time at marina square, where zihao presented the cake after a little "toilet" break and not forgettin the little pig. thank you very very much. it's very sweet of them.
KD made all these plans alone, in the midst of the busy schedule, hasty done as my schedule is not fixed. this is one birthday i enjoyed the most and there is certain no second thought about it.
my 1st birthday present from KD is a love shaped, chocolate cake with white chocolate on top and nut at the last layer. simply fantastic.
BF stands for Birthday Foreword last week.
BF is somethin that KD put in a lot of effort in doin it. i gladly and proudly accepted and recognised that very sweet present presented to mE every night last week. it's some little trick KD did on my computer and every night without fail, KD would saw it with mE physically there or over the phone. it simply makes mE feel that i'm so privilege to have KD woh.
thank you KD! muck!
work have been pretty well these days, though more work but more happy and it's more recognised. jus some people in the office ain't that helpful and there's some politics revolvin one person. btw, it's still work. ha.
deletin things of the past, deletin memory of the unhappy past, erasin picture of someone you held important and valuable could be somethin that never occur to ones' mind. however, holdin on to it can be worse, can be torturin, this is especially when there is too many happy memories to contain and think back and ruminate. this is hurtful when you accidentally browse through it. however, i finally decided it won't happen again. slowly bit by bit, i started to delete it off. and today is one of the day that i deleted a lot off.
suddenly, i felt more relaxed, no longer holdin a chain of unhappy history, but memories still stays.
felt funny. the feelin that i felt half a year ago was back. the nostalgic feel, the feel when everythin was sweet and pure. i guess that time was the best time in our relationship, but it's back. this is the motivation that i got nowadays, to pull back the relationship that once fallen and now it's a whole piece again. of course i would like to thank my KD for the help and support that was given when everythin went blank, the trust that KD gave is unmeasurable. KD is probably the best, the sweetest i can ever have.
i simply love my KD.
i hope everythin would be fine from 13th october onwards.
have been arguin a lot since two weeks ago. jus gotten too much stress and is bothered over too many stuff i reckon. KD have been sufferin since then, now, we're back on track and hope it still this way.
where is this relationship steer to?
i recently got some direction problem. i am lost, so the relationship is headin a little aimlessly then. KD tried to take control, it did worked, should KD keep the relationship runnin? hmm.
been my fault and i am doin lotsa harm to my precious KD these days.
puttin KD in a fix, makin KD rush and grounded are so so common these days to the extend the word sorry been very common too. i at times was put at cross junction, unknowing of the paths that lies ahead, all path got it's danger and damage. no path without any damage and danger lyin, felt stressed, helpless, lost and useless. i tried unaccommodatin but this relationship requires a lot more than bah. too much at time that i am unable to provide there and then. somehow it makes mE looks terrible and guilty and wanna do stupid stuff. KD isn't ready bah, i shan't force KD and push KD to any more of the limit. shall take things slowly.
sorry isn't jus a word, it's a heart pain that i suffer from.
i am very stress!
i am not superman, i am not a millionaire, i am not a full time workaholic.
i am jus mE, jus a human.
tough choice, doubtful, unsure, don't know, confused.
nothin could go wrong if this is followed:
i am jus your boyfriend, he is your best friend. period.
it's saturday again. weeee...
anyway, somethin special happened in AMK.
it's the "GRAND" opening of AMK Hub. i said "GRAND" and it's really "GRAND". hardly you will see any shoppin centre to have firework for openin, but this little heartlander shoppin mall have it for the openin. a five minutes odd fireworks started at nine. so cool right? don't see that taka or vivocity got any fireworks, think this AMK Hub is pretty power woh! haha...
late this evenin, about half past ten, KD and i went to meritus mandarin to chill out. quite a cool place to be. it's called Observation Lounge at level 38. jus a drinkin place. KD drank a little too much. hehe...
btw, KD and i also went to chinese garden at jurong to see the lanterns display. got quite a lot of nice shapes of lantern, however, i still think that the entrance is relatively expensive, $12. anyway, it's relatively hot which i reckon it's due to the heat from the light bulb in the lanterns.
had a great time goin out with KD today. did a lotsa preparation prior to meetin KD.
bought KD some clothes worth near 200 dollars. so happy that KD got new clothes. jus realise that i got a couple of things to do; packin, lookin for things and sort out my drawer. kinda messy now. sigh... but i am happy today.
| Are you a good boyfriend/girlfriend? | |
 | You are a great lover. This will get you into many wonderful relationships. You know how to treat your partner. You are skilled in love and it might be helpful to teach others. |
| 'Are you a good boyfriend/girlfriend?' at QuizGalaxy.com | |
| Your Dating Style: Committed Relationship | ||||
| You are all about being in a committed long term relationship. You are all about the love and security that it brings. | ||||
| ||||
| 'What is your dating style?' at QuizGalaxy.com |
| YOUR DATING REPORT CARD: | |
| Category | Grade |
| Flirting | C |
| Physical | B |
| Emotional | A+ |
| Your Average Dating Grade: B | |
| 'What is your Dating Grade?' at QuizGalaxy.com | |
am at KD's place now. things resolved. i hope. i think so. it must have been.
KD looks so cute and so pretty today. it's one of the few times i see KD so closely and so sweetly.
KD bought a CD for mE. 881 movie soundtrack. so cool lar. muahahaha...
I LOVE KD!
yesterday've been quite fun. watch singpopera and ratatouile. double show double fun. came home with quite a bit of work to sort out. after all, it's the only time in the week that i return to clear my junk at home, physical and technological junk. worked till quite late with the factor that i might not be headin home the comin week make it worse. so it dragged for a while. dragged to the extend i thought and think and trust that KD is sleepin coz KD told that KD will sleep after the talk over the phone.
i jus realised it's not.
i realised how stupid i'm.
i realised that KD have been waitin and waitin.
i don't know how to say i'm sorry.
i'm really such a fool and've been dumb. REAL DUMB!
i hate myself. i really hate myself very much at this bloody point of time.
i will NOT let my KD wait anymore.
i will not let KD wait up for mE to sleep anymore.
i promise.
sorry KD...
KD's birthday passed. i believe KD've more than enough reason to smile in dreamland. the birthday came with a series of surprises, i hoped it's surprisin enough since a week before the birthday. shall i act on the post-birthday? i think so... muahaha... i'm surely happy to see KD so glad with the celebrations.
had overcome a couple of unhappiness recently.
fallen deeply in love could be good and bad, could be a blessin or a curse.
could land you in grave unhappy and great happiness.
that's is especially when you care too much about the other party and you get too bother about the person's past, the person's ugly and vice. i got over it. i overcome KD's past, KD's vice and KD's ugly. i no longer bring up the past, no longer bring up the ugly, no longer bring up the vice. what i know is that i've KD and i've to accept KD for who KD is. no matter what would become and what was KD, i jus simply love KD.
when i looked in KD's phone, i saw things that i ain't suppose to see, but i turned it away. no more promptin and no more misunderstandin. i trust KD. i believe what KD done for mE was much more than what was done to others. now i trust KD badly, believe in myself that KD will not lie to mE. even if KD do have feelin for others, KD touch others, KD did anythin behind mE, he will tell mE and not hide it or lie to mE. soon to come, it could be a mutual understandin between us. however, now, we do have another hurdle to overcome. another tall one.
yesterday was a series of unhappiness event revolved around makin my head spinned.
it could be a day most dread and hope to forget it, but i think i will not. apparently, i made a promise to change for the better, not to make life miserable for KD and the relationship, reply at least a ttyl. i will.
today is KD's birthday. gave KD the present and i am glad KD is happy.
i reckon that the birthday cake's candle also lighten KD up a lot.
2:09:05
that was the timin i took for runnin 21km.
the view at fullerton hotel was fantastic.
did mention KD and i went to bishan j8 last sunday to watch 881? don't think so. ha... the show is sweet and nice and sweet lar... KD got touched. hehe... love KD so much... KD were so cute that day too. ha.
 | You scored as The Lovers, Divinatory Meaning: Intensity in relationships. Reverse Meaning: Obsessive relationships. Refusal to learn from relationships. You are a very passionate person. Others see you as very driven and opinionated. Remember that you have to pick your battles and that there is something to be learned from everyone. Allow yourself to grow from every relationship.
Which of the Major Arcana are you? created with QuizFarm.com |
was very hungry and tired. it's somethin that i've been experiencin for the past week. busy and self inflict stress are undeniable reasons why so. somehow, i'm happy that i am. it shows that i am puttin in effort in the upcomin birthday.
well... KD's birthday is comin. this comin week. so happy and lookin forward to it. lookin forward to the fruit of my stress and effort. it's kinda of one of the most important day i'm lookin forward to other than christmas. i love christmas badly. but i love my KD badly too... so KD's birthday is as important. planned somethin, had somethin in mind, but i've limitation. one of them is money. KD's restricted my spendin and hate mE spendin. i respect KD's decision since it's KD's birthday so i'm gonna spend minimum on celebratin it. but if you ain't gonna put in a amount of money then how're you gonna make it nice and special? hmm... i don't know too. but i know that i've to crack my mind to.
somehow, while makin plans for it, i realise how useless i am... useless mE.
finally we made up today. KD and i.
for this little afternoon, we didn't argue and quarrel about anythin. in fact, we rush to watch the touchin show 881 that caused a good number of people cry in the cinema. after the show, still unhappy, swallowin my temper and hidin my unwelcomin black face we took a train to bugis to walk and took some picture with the DSLR. quite cool. after that we managed to talk things out quite nicely and went for the 'cheap thrill' at the national library before headin home.
the little conversation we had this very afternoon somehow shows that i really do treasure KD and love KD a lot. the amount of changes that took place in mE since we started were countless. nowadays the thought of losin KD not only linger with dreadful terror, but also fear of shatterin the shinin path of future that we painted. till now, i still gloom with insecurity and lack of assurance, but not as much as yesterday after KD reiterated our future.
quite an eventful week had jus passed.
made quite a number of trip back and fro to see KD. it's jus some motivation i had that keeps mE goin nowadays. nevertheless, the new birth of the hammy this week gave new joy in our life.
we went for a small scale bbq at KD's friend's place on sunday, a little cat's pictures exhibition on monday, i was busy on tuesday night and i stayed over on wednesday where KD's mother made some comments. on that very monday, we stumbled across this seafood restaurant opposite the central, a new installation at clarke quay train station. the restaurant was nice and cheap.
went for imran's birthday yesterday. quite Ok. KD got a bit high from the tequila i bought. after the little event, a small unhappiness dampen the mood a little then, perhaps till this hour too. then KD came over for a while and left home. i held too tight on to KD and have not been havin enough time for myself. lackin of it only drive mE a little too close to KD and the threat of losin KD became more and more clear. a scorpion is one that whip its tail up when threat is nearin. the scorpion at this time seems forceful and full with force to cause you much anguish. but the honest truth is that the scorpion is scared, but have to maintain it's position.
apparently, work this week was rather fun and smooth. no arrows shot mE yet. jus doin what i should be doin.
thought back about what happened this week, unconsciously took mE back what happened some six months ago. saw my ex's bf yesterday. a sudden surge of unhappiness came gushin into my head and i decided not to look at him. that constrict mE to look the other way where i saw some of my old friend who i have not come in contact with a rough three years. we used to rattle about our daily happenin, met each other weekly. that was years ago and have not visited each other since then.
i am tired.
my eyes is weary.
i am sick of work.
my soul is weak.
didn't have good time at work at all. have to manage between subordinates and bosses.
bosses like to hammer you when things don't goes right not even realisin the root.
subordinates likes to complain that you're bad especially when they don't know what are you doin.
to this state, i am too tired to go the extra mile. keep one eye open is not enough, i might as well close both. i am sick of steppin into work and see email keep shootin and arrows keep flyin especially it keep flyin to people who are busy and easy to bully. my soul is now weak at work and don't wish to bother too much, i will jus stick to what i have to do ONLY.
but... i am happy too, coz
i got KD with mE by my side always and i will be on KD's side too.
i got good old time buddy like ryan, gary, darren and patrick who never forget each other.
i got good friends like klein, zihao, alvin, jimmy, sly, jerald and others who kept makin mE miss them.
i got supportive parents to be there always.
lastly, i got my hands, legs, eyes, nose, mouth and brain to drive mE on each and every day.
think i need a rest le. ran 16km this very mornin, caught a bit of nap and spent about one hour and the half travellin over to meet someone that special who apparently don't miss mE. is it worth it? don't know. but as far as i know i miss this very person very much.
quite a lotsa things happened for the past few days, very traumatising experience which will eventually lead to some changes in mE. some long term change. not expectin anythin is one of them. i jus keep lookin forward to tomorrow for the sake that tomorrow is comin. that's all.
little did i expect this. stupidly i have opened someone's email and outta good will i wanted to help to check for any important email.
i saw somethin that breaks my heart. period.
took a very long walk back to office yesterday with my boss and colleague. she wanted us to walk. it's quite a reluctant walk. at least, i was reluctant and unhappy over it, but i doubt there's nothin i can do. went back office, cleared a bit of work and started with my PSP. played for a while and headed off to swim and returned home after that.
missed KD a lot bah. KD left to redang for scuba divin. sigh. so sad. tomorrow is our sixth month anniversary le. so happy... realised the irony? so sad and so happy. don't know also. ha. was kinda stressed over what to do for anniversary. KD taught mE to save money, not to anyhow spend money, but to mE, anniversary, especially sixth month or a year is kinda special and i wanna celebrate it grandly. grand does it mean spendin a lot of money? to mE, yes, but i won't bah. or i mean tryin not to. wanna apply with KD taught mE, not to spend mE and makin it special. i'm tryin to come up with nice and beautiful plan. breakin my skull and thinkin. i'm still thinkin.
i made KD sad this mornin after a clubbin trip. i am terribly sinful and hate myself so much for makin KD feel so sad. i will make up. i promise.
today was another busy monday. on top of that, i was kinda sleep deprive so my runnin and sneezin nose return this very mornin and lasted even now. caught simpson and a play last week. was very surprised that KD bought the tickets and i hid my joy and excitement in mE. too happy then. i really enjoy myself with KD a lot.
we quarreled last night again. about somethin trivia i guess. but it's the things that KD did to show how little KD have in mE, in us, in the relationship. don't wanna talk about the sad part.
went over to KD place last night, played the PS2 and talked to the sister and stayed over. was late for the course today. the course was pretty nice and had a wonderful lecturer who shares a lot. i learned this statement: "in a relationship, it's the small things that matter" quite true. ha.
Materiality. Material Force. Material temptation; sometimes obsession
The Devil is often a great card for business success; hard work and ambition.
Perhaps the most misunderstood of all the major arcana, the Devil is not really "Satan" at all, but Pan the half-goat nature god and/or Dionysius. These are gods of pleasure and abandon, of wild behavior and unbridled desires. This is a card about ambitions; it is also synonymous with temptation and addiction. On the flip side, however, the card can be a warning to someone who is too restrained, someone who never allows themselves to get passionate or messy or wild - or ambitious. This, too, is a form of enslavement. As a person, the Devil can stand for a man of money or erotic power, aggressive, controlling, or just persuasive. This is not to say a bad man, but certainly a powerful man who is hard to resist. The important thing is to remember that any chain is freely worn. In most cases, you are enslaved only because you allow it.
What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.
KD scared mE a bit that day over breakfast. i remember i did use pore pack on KD before, but KD denied that i did. i somehow figured out that it could a dream that i had, but gettin confused over dreams and reality ain't really that bad eh? either of them're things or i mean memories that residues in your memories, so to mE, it's jus somethin that i remembered but not sure whether fact or dreams. sigh. is that really that bad?
went over to KD's house for a while where i am supposed to take a look at the hammy which i apparently forget to. sigh. lookin forward to see them back. that's before noon, then headed to a nearby hawker centre for lunchie, five dollars and ninety cents for chicky rice and two twenty for sugar cane drinks. next was the highlight where we took bus to parkway parade and alighted to take a four dollars twenty cents cab to the other side of the east coast near bedok jetty to kayak. spent twenty dollars on kayak and some fun capsizin each other boat, not forgettin the part where we laid there to receive the welcomin sea breeze. with wet bodies and wet clothes on, we went to the hawker centre nearby 
for coconuts, two coconuts costs four dollars. walked and walked and got onto bus to parkway parade to engrave our rings. the terrible engravin cost nine dollars, gonna get it fixed some other day. never the less the twenty two dollar forty five cents dinner of bak gu teh at the food court then two sofa cushion at twenty two twenty four and a new light khaki shorts of two three dollars and ten cents. then the thirty dollars thingy and cab of about ten dollars home.
noticed how much i have spent in jus a day? sigh. i'm tryin to control my spendin already. sigh. really really really controllin. but afterall, i really enjoyed my day badly, terribly, horribly cool and fantastic. most importantly, we didn't argue to quarrel at all, but jus had wholesome fun. muahahaha... lovingly sweet day!
good game i mean. had a good game with KD this very evenin after dinner at clementi, went home and played.
jus gotten my pay slip. gotten quite a reasonable sum. sufficient to get a DSLR, but should i? wanted it badly then, but KD don't like the idea of mE spendin money and i got the feelin it's kinda very expensive. i don't usually buy stuff more than a thousand. it's a very tough decision. hmm... any comments?
happy, that was how i feel tonight. other than the japanese buffet dinner and the walk around raffles place. KD gave in. i am very happy. i appreciate that KD actually did it for mE. ha. i was also happy when KD hold my hand in the restaurant, the way KD tried to touch my hand and hold it. i was so delighted over it. the dinner was fantastic with it. muahaha...
i am supposed to start work today but somehow there is nothin much for mE to do so i'm like goin back work tomorrow early early.
gonna be very busy with work already. won't be very free much already, but i will make effort to meet my KD.
like i said i went to hong kong last week and today, i went down town and got two sapphire hamster. they are jus so cute. then went to suntec to have dinner with my parents, the dinner costs eighty plus and my mother went to carrefour for groceries. btw i paid for the dinner. ha. this is the second last restaurant meal i am havin for this month.
somethin jus dropped into my mind and i was think about it for a while, and took out all the receipt i have accumulated for the past weeks. it looked kinda a lot when i took them all out at one shot. ha. i kept some the receipt for several reasons and they made mE smiled jus now. =)
let mE do a small breakdown of the receipt and the smiles i had.
| two adult entry to disney's land | 119.81 | |
| watch fireworks at the the sleepin beauty castle in disney's land with KD | 0.00 | |
| caramel pop corn in disney's land | 3.00 | |
| seein KD choosin the the pop corn with lotsa caramel | 0.00 | |
| ingredients for makin salad | 26.50 | |
| makin a three layer salad for KD | 0.00 | |
| two cups of ben & jerry ice cream - cookie dough and cherry garcia | 5.50 | |
| seein KD got scared by the ghost show while eatin cherry garcia | 0.00 | |
| two tubs of haagen das ice cream - green tea and tiramisu | 21.40 | |
| seein how KD like the green tea so how | 0.00 | |
| three packets of face masks durin GSS | 9.45 | |
| usin the face masks with KD | 0.00 | |
| one box of shiseido pore pack | 4.50 | |
| puttin one pore pack on KD's nose and laughin | 0.00 | |
| two movie tickets to transformer | 12.32 | |
| holdin KD's hand while watchin transformer | 0.00 | |
| one lovers pop corn combo | 5.50 | |
| feedin KD pop corn | 0.00 | |
| one crystal jade mango cake | 15.40 | |
| get KD to take the candle out of the cake usin mouth | 0.00 | |
| two sapphire hamsters with pet food and shavin | 41.60 | |
| lettin the two hamsters jump around and falls onto my hands | 0.00 | |
| havin KD to love mE | priceless |
KD mentioned that i said 'sorry' too much already. does KD know that i don't say 'sorry' very sincerely to people? i don't often hang that word on my mouth, even if it came out of my mouth do take notice of how sincere i am in sayin or jus sayin for the sake of it. i guess KD is different so i guess i jus unknowingly said too often and too sincerely.
yesterday looked different, the way KD kissed mE, the way KD hugged mE, the way KD held my hand and most of all, the way KD looked into my eyes and talked to mE. everythin were jus so different. i felt much much better, much assure of what is gonna happened. felt that KD ain't gonna leave mE, felt that KD love mE a lot.
is this a fantasy or jus how i felt? am i seein the real or somethin made up? but at least, i felt better, much better now.
yesterday is the triple seven. new start once more. i hope and i wish.
btw if you don't realise today is Seventh of July in the year 2007. triple seven. jackpot. the seven seven seven reminds mE of the show slevin. muahaha...
felt that this blog now is so so so green. cannot cannot. gonna do some modification already... muahaha...
i somehow felt inferior, felt useless, felt good for nothin in front of my beloved.
no matter what, i wish you by my side, happy anniversary.
i jus took out the box of strawberries from the refrigerator. ate three and for once, these strawberries are jus so sweet. and i jus cried so badly.
when you're deeply in love, everythin you do for the person and everythin you take or eat is jus sweet. i guess, finally, i am truly and deeply in love. one love that i will cherish and remember. prayin every mornin and workin hard each day not to lose it today, but it's jus hard when your beloved is god and you're jus another one person on the street when no one bother to take a second look at. felt so unworthy. felt so hurt. felt how my beloved was hurt for the past four months.
i promise not to let my darlin get hurt anymore, to take good care of, to shower with hundred and one percent of time and effort and love, but does it help? my fragile little darlin was hurt, hurt too badly.
darlin, i really love you.
hong kong trip was no doubt cool and fun and excitin and amazin especially you go with someone you feel real comfortable with. nothin to rush for as it's a very free and very easy trip, though we've planned somethin out from the trip. some places to go. i will post some pictures tomorrow bah. i guess this is one trip i enjoyed myself to the max. can't beat any england or states one. haha...
a news came after i arrived home. the occupant of the room next door moved out. cool right? i mean after all i move in there today. in the room now there is still boxes accumulatin there waitin for some maria to pack it. ha.
btw jus gotta my 200 bucks for the GST increase. COOL sia. free money. and i am gonna get new computer soon. muahaha... interestin.
gotta go for now. gonna pack up some stuff.
am i an emotional guy? jus by lookin at the tears rollin down mE states it obviously.
impulsive and irritable, very, but controllin. when all things fall onto you and leave you speechless.
'go slow'? i don't think i got a choice. have to wait for somethin to happen.
nobody understand? yes and yes. in work especially, goin back to work while on leave. it's my fault for not completin the booklet, but was i told when? and i wasn't the last to complete it even. no one do simply appreciate that I AM SIMPLY ON LEAVE! cleared everythin last night and realise i am kinda quite free like a bird who doesn't owe anyone a livin. my boss especially, who is a 'dinosaur' who jus simply think things are right in place and nothin except the staff are wrong. with her position, definately everythin could be done. but i am jus another small fry gotten push around. or doesn't she even understand not everythin in the organisation is correct and right in place since donkey years ago. WAKE UP! in office, it jus seems that i owe everyone a livin. goin an extra mile doesn't help. back at home, parents are rather not well educated and with technology nowadays, they jus can't seems to catch up. goin slow is one thing, makin them learn is another. friends jus simply seems too far, and i am like far too busy for them which i reckon i kinda true. jugglin seems to be outta hand. relationship can't rush. somehow, i seems to be standin there like a sittin duck waitin to be shot.
who else know what am i goin through? self inflict stress eh? ha.
really really beyond my control now. sigh. escapin to hong kong tomorrow.
You are seeking an affectionate relationship, offering fulfilment and happiness. You are capable of powerful emotional enthusiasm. Deep down, you are a kind loving person, always helpful and willing to adapt yourself if necessary to realise the bond of affection that you desire. But you need the same consideration and understanding from others and it is this need that will sometimes hold you back... so let go, trust and you may pleasantly surprised at what happens.
Being impulsive and irritable, your desires and needs are paramount. You do things with insufficient thought - with little regard to the consequences that may follow. As a consequence of this attitude, you may be experiencing stress and conflict.
The way things are at this time it is necessary to 'go slow'. All the pleasures that you have anticipated should be left in abeyance until some future date, but all is not lost, you are able to derive and achieve considerable gratification from someone quite close to you.
Nobody seems to understand you at this moment for everything you suggest or do seems to be taken up the wrong way. All of this misunderstanding is leading to anxiety and stress. The situation naturally is not as you would like it to be - you feel that you are being treated most unfairly and that trust, affection and understanding are being withheld from you and that you are being treated with a demeaning lack of consideration. You consider yourself being denied the appreciation essential to your well being and self-esteem and that there is nothing you can do about it. You feel that whatever you try to do to change the situation, you are getting nowhere fast. You would really like to get away from it all but can't find the energy or the strength of mind to make the necessary decision.
The tensions and stresses that you have experienced of late have been the result of trying to cope with conditions which are really beyond your capabilities. You feel completely inadequate to cope with the situation and you would like nothing better to escape from it all and to be able to relax in a problem and pressure free environment where you can do your thing.
http://www.paulgoldinresearch.com/cg/
Your programmer personality type is:
DLSB
You're a Doer.
You are very quick at getting tasks done. You believe the outcome is the most important part of a task and the faster you can reach that outcome the better. After all, time is money.
You like coding at a Low level.
You're from the old school of programming and believe that you should have an intimate relationship with the computer. You don't mind juggling registers around and spending hours getting a 5% performance increase in an algorithm.
You work best in a Solo situation.
The best way to program is by yourself. There's no communication problems, you know every part of the code allowing you to write the best programs possible.
You are a liBeral programmer.
Programming is a complex task and you should use white space and comments as freely as possible to help simplify the task. We're not writing on paper anymore so we can take up as much room as we need.
| How to make a Jim |
| Ingredients: 1 part friendliness 3 parts crazyiness 3 parts beauty |
| Method: Add to a cocktail shaker and mix vigorously. Top it off with a sprinkle of lovability and enjoy! |
my soul have been weak today.
totally let KD took over.
can't even have a day of break. i won't be able to take it anymore.
sorry.
nothin will take you away from mE anymore.
nothin will jeopardise the relationship anymore.
your beloved JD. =)
things got worst last monday. very bad to the extent that the whole world falls on you.
things got negotiable last tuesday. quite alright that things got slightly better.
things got stationary last wednesday. nothin happened then.
things got extreme last thursday. unexpected and nothin in return in office.
things got restarted last friday. practical the whole day was fun at home.
things got positive last saturday. went for movie the sliver surfer and a great deal of fun at kovan.
things got normally fine last sunday or i mean yesterday. went for father's day lunch and was fun in the afternoon at lavender and not forgettin the shoppin and queuin and carryin of plastic bags containin durian products.
last but not least, i love you not for who you, but because it's you.
no matter what happen to you, i will be there for you, to take care of you, to look after you and to love you throughout my whole life time. muck. =)
things're back to normal and even better. but i don't really've time for myself le. i reckon that's good coz it means that things're better and nicer than before. quite sweet bah, honeymoon again? ha. didn't really've time for friends too, but i reckon they won't mind de. hehe... btw, work has been tie mE down for the past months, for now, i can relax much more till end of the month.
jus came back from chinatown, went to pay for my oversea trip. SGD$1344. lookin forward very much for it to come. gonna go do my stuff le.
made lotsa changes and made lotsa commitment these days. kinda tired but enjoyin. work ain't that bad nowadays, but work load kept pilin and am too busy sometime for personal life. sigh.
went to I T Fair last week, got myself a RAM for my laptop and a cool Divoom 2:1 Speaker. i think i missed the crowd. ha. the speaker seems cool, used it only once due lack of time. sigh. soon i'm gonna blast it. wanna get some chinese songs but find it hard to get. i am addicted to TT, my PSP with Monster Hunter UMD and iPod playin the Forbidden City Soundtracks. gonna get some rest before headin to work tomorrow.
was busy, i mean very busy lately. commitment in work and with friends totally drained mE. sigh. watched 200 pounds beauty last night. wonderful show. gonna buy the dvd.
today was a tirin day. very tired. sigh. don't wish to type now. yawns.
sittin in a internet shop, think it's called chills cafe somewhere around city hall. mahjong session yesterday was fun and stressed. won too much i guess. jus jokin. had been lucky so i won a little. walked around from clarke quay and took a few beautiful scene, shall post it up soon. work have been horrible. or in fact terrible. my guys lost somethin very important again. how come it's always them. can't stand it, almost bursted into flames, but my patience is good or in fact very good. sigh. am i bein too nice to them? think i'm really busy these days bah. really realised that when kevin actually prompt mE that my weekdays are sorta taken and left with weekends. furthurmore, weekends are like busy to the max and hardly got time for myself. but i reckon, it's Ok. especially this period of busy time. yup. it'll soon be over after june.
havin some slight problem with life. kinda lost and really the word is lost. direction-less. don't know what do next. hmm... got some plans, but don't really have the discipline to put it into action and execute it. kept pushin things to somethin known as tomorrow. hmm... i believe it's sometimes good to be lost at times, at least, you can revisit what you really want.
talkin about want. i learned somethin really useful today. it's the three beliefs in life: the love, the need, the want. this is especially if you're a workin adult. when you're workin, have you thought of why the hell am i workin? because i need to work to keep livin and not jus existin, takin free oxygen? because i jus wanna work coz everyone says i have to? or because i LOVE to work what i am workin? perhaps most of us falls into the first one, because you need to. need to support the family, need to buy this and that, need to eat. but what if you love your job and have ultimate passion in it, will it makes a difference? will you smile and work beyond your limits? i guess so. hmm... life is not simply jus about survivin, it's also about lovin yourself and the things you do. well... don't jus let time and decades pass without fall in love with anythin.
btw, i found my PSP. my colleague "kept" it for mE coz i misplaced it on my table.
can jus ONE person buy mE a good and nice thick christian bible for collection? i lost track of when i last flipped one. i don't wanna receive three or four of it coz i jus need one for data collection and pleasure readin. so jus one is enough. thanks.
had a pretty tired week. stressed in fact. i don't like to do anythin bad to my subordinate, but i did this week. think that they hate mE a lot. ha. anyway, LOST MY PSP! hate it. simply hate the feelin.
sometimes, it's about doin the right things and doin the things right without the right way. everythin need to be done usin the right approach, but who actually determine what is the right approach? if you think a little harder, it's the social norm which determine it. it's kinda like a long story to it. look, if you don't help a granny cross the road so you're wrong? eatin human meat is wrong? actually, says who? my mother said my grandmother said it, then who told my grandmother? ha. anyway, had some nice lunch and taken neo print with kevin this afternoon. kinda cute! hao hao's grandmother pass away and he refuse my visit. so sad. the most saddenin part is that one of my subordinate got 14days restricted privileges all thanks to mE. sigh.
pictures taken today:
the lovely month of may came so unexpectedly. i didn't know it's may day aka labour day after i alighted the cab and realised that the ferry timin for the holiday was kinda weird. i crossed the sea with a twenty odd kilo trash bag containin my neccessity which made my sickness even worse. reached the site only to realise that one of the guy was sick and i was made to send him to the nearest doctor in mainland so took the noon time ferry back again. while so, i thought somethin from my dream is about to happen which indeed happened after all. i demanded, i like to demand a lot. don't know why, perhaps because i care too much about it. this is my way of carin. i do care for myself too, and much more in fact. gonna fall sick again.
anyway, i won't be able to go out this weekend already. got some activities goin on. sigh. need to postpone again? simply hate it.
suddenly thought of this phase, "more haste, more haste". ring any bell to those romeo and juliet lover? jus came back. tired and sick. goin 'oversea' tomorrow. really hope i get better tomorrow. so far think got about nine people who ask to "drink more water" after seein my msn nick as "fever." fever subsided, but still in pain.
watched this very saddenin show, "flags of our father" this afternoon while waitin to eat medicine. the plot is got this very human touch and i like the conclusion very much. it goes somethin like this, "no one is a hero, hero is made up coz everyone need a hero". then i began to ask this question, "is doctor to save life?" doubt so. i guess the real objective of doctor is to give HOPE. if the doctor doesn't save life or can't save someone life does it means that he's not a doctor?
very broke now. bein nice doesn't always've good return. anyway, i have been havin this phobia lately about goin oversea, coz whenever i go oversea i tend to lose somethin or someone very precious. sigh. lovely lovely mE gonna be sad sad again! nothin is forever, but i hope things will be there as along as it can.
anyway, think this sunday need to go kbox with hao and kev bah. never go last sunday. hmm... provided i'm feelin better that is. also, how come people nowadays so chim and goes blog with some much depth. ha.
was runnin a terrible fever. was 38.7 this mornin and dropped to 38.4 in the afternoon at t t s h. reached home at about six plus. the wait at the a&e was horrible, didn't bring the psp, ipod and such at all which added very much to the mental stress other than my father nag and unreasonable behaviour. gotten some medicine for fever, cough and flu and a medical certificate statin that i should not report till first of may. the horrible thing is not about bein sick, it's about goin to pulau tekong tomorrow for some trainin. for those young boy and gentleman, it's any stranger. ha. don't wanna sabotage anyone so i reckon i better go bah, takin into consideration that i will receive naggin from people who cares. at least, there's people who cares. anyway, really don't like people to wait for nothin especially there is paper tomorrow. anyway, my boss got into t t s h on thursday for dengue fever, i did a blood test and prove free from it. ha. guess shan't ponder so much. hittin the sack now.
gonna have my brunch soon. i guess i worked toward a fine piece of picture too much that i neglect the finer detail and the human touch. well... on my part, it is basically i am a stupid and idiotic impatient freak where jus keep rushin things. true enough life is short, i might jus leave tomorrow, who knows. apparently, if i really did neglect anyone or anythin along the way, i sincerely apologise. that's the one and only word i can say right now. but the most important is nothin gonna change, everythin is here to stay.
wee... i am really gonna save up very very very very much to get myself the DSLR, do i really need it? don't think so, but i really jus want it badly. jus like how i wanted someone badly too. do i have keep sayin mucks and i love you when you know i seriously do?
poppin down to the dvd shop to look for dvd later. wee... keep wantin some shows but don't really've the time to go and shop for it. btw, gonna meet ryan and gang on the fifth this month, lookin very much towards it.
1. I love you not because of who you are, but
because of who I am when I am with you.
2. No man is worth your tears, and the one who is, won't make you cry.
3. Just because someone doesn't love you the way
you want him to, it doesn't mean he doesn't love
you with all he has.
4. The worst way to miss someone is to be
sitting right beside him knowing you can't have
him.
5. Don't waste your time on a man who
isn't willing to waste their time on you.
6. Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people
before meeting the right one, so that when we
finally meet the person, we will know how to be
grateful.
What I find important in a relationship :
4Cs
CHEMISTRY,
COMMUNICATION,
COMPATIBILITY,
CONTRIBUTION.
a long long long week.
didn't get through it pleasantly. had some unpleasant scene, but still bear through it. been in bad debt with my mobile phone bills. sigh. got cut before the day before.
woke up pretty late today. didn't realise there're a number of people like mE out there who is bored to the extend that 'rot at home' is the only phase to use at that point of time. nothin much on television to watch. later in the afternoon, headed to amk hub to shop for a while before goin to aunt's place. bought swim goggles, ant and cockroaches killer stuff, sneaker balls and lotsa food. went back to the coffeeshop below my house for chicken rice with 03 x bowls of rice and spent twelve dollars on drinks and sweets in seven eleven to get the doramon fridge magnet. ha. went to see my aunt and played with my cousin's children. returned home near ten and threw everythin outta my drawers and sort a lotsa things out. saw lotsa old old old photo. some photo from my trainin in brunei which took place two years ago, some with my grandmother when she's still around on a ferry ride to sentosa, one with my ex in sentosa when the merlion were jus around and lotsa neoprints. ha. anyway, someone brought mE brownie, so we went to mac to top it up with 50cents ice cream to make it brownie sundae. cool right? very nice. came home to carry on packin and use facial scrub and cleanser and my facial mask and pore pack and face moisturin veil and hand moisturer too. so typin very slow now. wanna go sleep but can't sleep. a little sad and stress and Lost in outta space. went into deep thinkin a while ago. pack and pack and never seems to end. given up on packin my stuff. dump everythin back into the drawer and came back to blog le. gonna be a busy week soon. gonna leave mainland a couple of times this week.
| Never Date a Taurus |
 Stubborn, materialistic, and even a little greedy - you don't fit into a the strictly crafted inner world of a Taurus. You definitely need more excitement than a Taurus offers. After all, even expensive dinners get boring after a while! Instead try dating: Gemini, Libra, Sagittarius, or Aries |
You are the Realistic Type!
Realistic people are practical, physical, usually pretty fit, and hard-working. They may like to work out doors, in a broad range of areas. Realistic people enjoy nature and may like to work in the forest, on building sites, on a police force, or on a farm.
Realistic people are curious and they like to see how things work. They make great engineers. They are reliable and a bit traditional.
Possible college majors and careers include: Engineering, Agriculture, Animal Science, Construction, Landscaping, Police work, Fire Science, Drafting, Architecture, Park Ranger.
| Disorder | Rating |
| Paranoid Disorder: | Moderate |
| Schizoid Disorder: | High |
| Schizotypal Disorder: | Very High |
| Antisocial Disorder: | High |
| Borderline Disorder: | Very High |
| Histrionic Disorder: | High |
| Narcissistic Disorder: | High |
| Avoidant Disorder: | Very High |
| Dependent Disorder: | Very High |
| Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder: | High |
-- Personality Disorder Test - Take It! -- -- Personality Disorders -- | |
You scored as Engineering. You should be an Engineering major!
What is your Perfect Major? (PLEASE RATE ME!!<3) created with QuizFarm.com |
| Receiving Gifts: | 9 | |
| Physical Touch: | 7 | |
| Quality Time: | 7 | |
| Acts of Service: | 4 | |
| Words of Affirmation: | 3 |
"Hi, I've got lung cancer. How are you?"
Conversational tips for the terminally ill.
If you're suffering from a serious illness, we urge you to be indiscreet. Instead of making small
talk at a dinner party, why not start a conversation along these lines: "My doctor told me I've only
two years to live. I fully intend to outlive the impostor." Or you might try something like this: "My
tumour and I have the same zodiac sign."
Talking openly about your illness is powerful therapy. Because when you open up, everyone
(including yourself) learns to cope with the anxiety and uncertainty of your condition. Let's put it
another way: not talking about death won't make it go away, talking about it, on the other hand,
can bring life back to your relationships with your loved ones.
You might think that being stoic and maintaining a stiff upper lip will help protect your
family from their impending loss. We would recommend the opposite: Share your grief. Cry in front
of someone and cry with them. It's always okay to cry. (These are, after all, the saddest times of
your life.) Witnessing grief gives others the permission to grieve. Crying may help us all gradually
come to accept the universal fact that all living things die. It's not, therefore, a matter of if you
grieve, but when you grieve.
One of the greatest acts of kindness we can do for the dying is allowing them to be heard.
But we may ask ourselves in panic: 'What do we do? What do we say?' The answer is always to
listen. Listen to them cry. Listen to them laugh. Listen to them complain. Listen to them grieve.
Listen to them reminisce. Listen to them talk openly about dying. And, then, listen to them cry
again. There are no rules, except to play it by ear and listen to what the dying have to say to us. It
is, in the end, only in an honest and loving atmosphere that the living and the dying develop the
strength to come to terms and accept the unacceptable.
Our culture tends to promote a kind of secrecy, silence and shame towards terminal illness.
The dying are seen in the past tense and unwittingly treated as semi-human. While we should
never deny that the dying are dying, we often 'bury them alive' by acting as if they are incapable of
making their own decisions; by ignoring their thoughts and their opinions, by overlooking their
wishes, by withholding information from them and by treating them as if they are little children.
Small wonder, then, that at the time they desperately need emotional support and comfort, the
severely ill become isolated and unfortunately die alone.
yesterday is monday, met hao and kle and nic at orchard, eat at pepper lunch and then snack at nydc where i used my uob platinum for the first time. yawns. one week passed. mango cake is nice.
today had some presentation and i was the last group presentation the same topic, then very pressurizin especially my boss isn't around where other group have bosses around to guide and give advice. then i reckon i added in a lotsa idiot speech and morronic comment. made a fool outta myself. tomorrow is valentine. mango cake is cool.
quite happy these days. lotsa happy thing happened. muahaha...
a nice gift for someone:
somethin sweet and nice:
bugs and viruses have slowly infested JiMmE's body in many way.
bladin is painful. sulkin and sufferin at home. HELP!
was out to blade with ben at east coast park when i realised that both our mood were almost equivalent. had a nice talk with each other and addin on to the fun, i fell six times on blades. i was fun. it's kinda hurt a lot where i spent lotsa time laughin at my own fall. saw my canteen uncle sellin ice cream and cold drinks there too. finished up the trip with a ice milo at mac and went bedok to eat yong tou fu. i don't really fancy yong tou fu much at all, but it was a treat then, so i was fine. went for a sugar cane drink and left the place to clementi.
went home late around ten and had some nasty conversation where i believe the neighbourhood heard my father's voice. unreasonable for an hour again. can't be bothered with it. then head to slyester's place to pass a mobile phone for slyester to pass to klein who is in the sunny island, tekong undergoin some revolution. i hoped. then i headed straight back camp.
edited on 05 Feb, 1615hrs
